Here is the invisible weight of fatherhood: Paternal postpartum depression
When we picture postpartum depression, the image that typically forms is of a new mother, fragile and overwhelmed, grappling with the tidal wave of physical, hormonal, and emotional changes that follow childbirth. But what if we told you that men, stoic, silent, and often standing just to the side of that hospital bed, might be battling an invisible war of their own?
Paternal postpartum depression (PPD) is real, but largely unrecognized. Mothers often receive a postpartum care plan, complete with wellness checkups and support resources, and rightly so, postnatal mood disorders among women deserve urgent attention. But the fathers are routinely handed little more than a diaper and a well-meaning pat on the back. This oversight has consequences. Here is the truth: new fathers can experience postpartum depression too – and many of them do.
Studies now confirm what mental health professionals have long suspected, depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges affect men in the postnatal period. In most cases, they go unrecognised. There are no regular screenings for new dads. No parent groups urge them to “open up.” No casseroles from well-wishers when they are overwhelmed.
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The symptoms spiral up quietly over weeks and months. One father arrived six months after his child’s birth, exhausted, emotionally distant, and deeply self-critical. His wife, too, was struggling with PPD. Their household was surviving, not living.
His therapy journey was not dramatic—but it was courageous. Through consistent support, he learned to acknowledge his emotions without guilt, to build back his relationship with his child, and most importantly, to reconnect with himself.
New fathers need to know that this emotional upheaval is not a weakness. The transition into fatherhood is massive. It calls for a reorientation of identity, responsibilities, and relationships. Fathers need to actively participate in baby care—not just as helpers, but as parents in their own right. Feeding, skin-to-skin contact, bedtime stories—these are not tasks on a checklist; they are ways to bond, to heal, and to grow.
Equally, they must lean on their partners and support them in return. A couple becomes a team when they divide tasks perfectly, and also when they check in, listen, and show up for each other, even when it’s messy.
Supporting mothers means supporting fathers too because untreated paternal PPD affects the individual and it impacts the entire family dynamic. Children benefit from emotionally present, mentally healthy parents. And both parents deserve support, not expectations of perfection.
It’s time to widen the postpartum lens. Mental health does not belong to one gender. Let’s stop pretending that fathers do not feel the weight too.
They do. And they deserve the same compassion, care, and space to heal.
This writeup is contributed by Dr. Aida Suhaimi, a clinical psychologist at Medcare Camali Clinic in Dubai.
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